A Happy Day for New York, Same-Sex Marriage Legalized

Promoting the mental health as well as social status of LGBT has always been one of my passions in the world of psychology and politics. As a devoted liberal, I realized that unfortunately most of the LGBT’s suffer from lack of self-confidence and it is quite painful to hear that almost 40% of this minority group goes through their lives either attempting suicide or contemplating to do so. 

While I am heterosexual myself, I have always considered sexual orientation to be a result of genetic predispositions. Due to lack of knowledge and dogmatism homosexuality was considered a disease in the ancient times and most often the identity of the homosexuals were kept a secret.

However, the American Psychiatric & Psychological Association has removed homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses more than three decades ago, and thus the new gay movement began. More and more celebrities, politicians, social workers, nurses, athletes, and etc came out of the closet and set out to ignite a movement to “promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty” for all the homosexuals out there.

Later, the liberal movement which consists of both hetero and homosexuals joined this movement in order to increase its effectiveness thereof. It is safe to say that there exist plenty of individuals from all walks of life who support the LGBT in their strive to make their voice heard. Nowadays, the gay movement’s voice can be heard on the streets, behind the podium, and even on national TV in political Talk Shows such as MSNBC’s Rachael Maddow Show.

Well, it finally happened, and it happened in none other than my beloved New York City. On Friday June 24th, New York law makers legalized same-sex marriage and New York will become the sixth state where gay couples can get married along with Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont and Washington, D.C. 

Alas, we witnessed many gay bashers on the internet who condemned this movement and posted insulting messages on various forums, that is why I decided to write this post and tell all the gays out there:

Not all heterosexuals are homophobic and that there are plenty of us out there who understand you and foster your grand cause. I personally would like to congratulate the gay movement for this significant achievement.

As Martin Luther King emphasized on the concept of freedom and liberty  in his magnificent speech known as  “I have a dream”:

“And this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.…”

And that bell was irrevocably heard, the ring of freedom was heeded in New York City. So I would like to leave all of you gays with one sentence:

Be happy of who you are, come out of the closet, and show the world that sexual orientation is no more important in determining your destiny than your color of preference, thus it is time for all of us to come together as humans and enjoy thriving in  a free world.   

 

The Future of Medical Science

In one of our Talk Shows the subject turned to euthanasia where we discussed the morality of killing a patient with an incurable illness painlessly. 

During that discourse one of the attendants gave an example regarding one of his friends who was fully paralyzed from the neck down after a disastrous accident and the fact that he only wanted to die so his suffering would stop. When it comes to such patients who have lost hope, alas, samples are ample.

I personally believe that the term "incurable disease" in the medical science should be replaced with the term “not curable yet”. Simply put, the technology within the medical field is progressing rapidly thanks to the digital and computer science, and everyday new solutions are emerging for ailments that were considered to mark the end of functional life merely years back. 

Believe it or not, the future of medical science is glorious to say the least. The digital technology allows a doctor to carry all the information she needs during her diagnosis in a tiny iphone; via robotics we can now prepare fully functional machinelike limbs for the paralyzed and limbless alike. Nanotechnology allows extremely microscopic robots, as small as a blood cell, to traverse the circulatory system and monitor all the vital functions and detect ailment. The social networking and communication technology can give the patients the opportunity to visit their doctors online without having to leave the comfort of their houses since only about 30% of all visits to the doctor’s office actually require physical presence of the patient, and many other new innovations that are on the way. 

Robotics helps paralyzed patients to not only walk, but also take the stairs.

We are already amidst a robust evolution in the world of health and medicine, so those of you who know a friend, relative, or acquaintance with a severe illness that seems incurable by most doctors, just remind them that their disease is merely “not curable yet”. All they have to do is to trust in the future of the medical science.

I would strongly recommend you to watch the following speech by an experienced oncologist named Daniel Kraft concerning the drastic expansion of the medical field in the upcoming years;    

Two ways to be motivated: Self-motivation and Self-motivation!!!

Being a motivational speaker more than anything else made me realize that no matter what I do or say, how energetic, funny, or inspirational my speeches are, the ultimate impact (to make others motivated) is merely a function of how induced each and every attendant wants to be from the inside.

I have had one-on-one consultancy sessions with people from all walks of life. A mother of a three-year-old who was contemplating divorce, a young man who just got graduated and was depressed due to unemployment, a middle-aged woman who could not find a suitable partner until the age of 40, spirited couples who were passionately in love with one another but were afraid of the challenges of immigration and its toll on their marriages, a 27 year old lady who did not like her job and felt that the reason behind her being single is that she is not good enough, a talented civil engineer at the beginning of his third decade of existence who felt that the only way to avoid the problem was by running away from the source, a youngster who claimed that his life had no purpose and that he did not know what he wants out of life, an intelligent and extremely talented transsexual who was contemplating escaping his family and country after being beaten and humiliated for the longing to be a woman, and many other cases where I was fortunate enough to contribute my ideas and thus improve the quality of thinking for the subjects.

Sometimes many of these sessions went on for a long time and had to be repeated periodically; many eventually decided to change their life, some, however, did not. On the other hand, I was once acquainted with a well-versed brain surgeon who was so happy with life that he said “I love my life, in fact, even if I lose my job as a surgeon I will certainly be able to work as a laborer and still be happy, what is the difference between me as a surgeon, and a laborer? We are all humans and we all can achieve happiness in whatever we do”.   

The previous example is a sufficient ground for what I am about to say: 

Motivation comes from the inside, not the other way around. Despite the fact that we all could benefit from listening to the magnificent speeches by motivational speakers all across the globe; while the fact that laughing at the jokes that I often throw in my own speeches may light up your heart and give you a temporary boost, the initial spark of incitement can only be ignited by ourselves rather than the others. 

Only those who gathered all their determination, focused all their attention, and made up their mind to motivate themselves for a better change left my counseling satisfied, and subsequently those who just wanted me to change their life by sweet words or hypnosis without any internal craving or the will to do what it takes were no more motivated after the sessions were long over.    

If you are sitting at your place waiting for the world to change for you, or someone to come to your rescue you might end up waiting for a long time, as a matter of fact, unbelievably a significant portion of the population on earth actually wait for their whole life, and finally at their final moments, express unbearable regrets for waiting to be motivated to do what they thought to be right.

In conclusion I would like to leave you with the following quote from Stephen R. Covey :  

Talk Show Podcast Episode Eleven

A whole new series of Talk Show 2.0 podcast begins by talking about the impact of judgment and the results that are likely to come out of judging the people around us. Join Dan Mulligan and Jack L.J. as well as Steve N.B. the guest of the show for a hot debate that features the following questions:

• What is judgment?

• Why do we judge others? What is the result of doing so?

• What role does judgment play in determining one’s success as well as relationships?

• How can we reduce the negative role of judgment in our lives?

All of those questions and more are answered in the next 25 minutes that you will spend with us.

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Alternatively you can download the podcast at Podbean.

A Short Story: My Favorite Coffee

A friend of mine whom I comically refer to as the-guy-who-is-not-important sent me the following story which I deemed appropriate to share with you. The context as well as the message is quite self-explanatory, yet most often it is the simple things that are forgotten.  

The story goes like this: 

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with GOLF BALLS. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.The professor then picked up a BOX OF PEBBLES and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a BOX OF SAND and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes”. The professor then produced TWO CUPS OF COFFEE from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now", said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life”. The golf balls are the important things: your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions....things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first”, he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. 

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend!”.

Life Without Judging Others

Something quite unprecedented occurred to me the other day. I found a few minutes of free time on my watch and decided to browse through the old photos of my friends and acquaintances.

Usually when looking at the photos, I, unconsciously, label them with words that are rendered in my mind, “yeah good times, he looks much fatter here though”, “She looks pretty attractive, but it is a shame her teeth do not have a nice stature, and also I do not like to look at a flat screen TV no matter how beautiful the show is ;if you know what I mean!!!”, “Wow, that nose appears so large when taken from the side?”. I could go on and provide more and more examples of what scatterbrained descriptions could hit my mind like a bolt, many of which I would refrain from mentioning for the sake avoiding to enter the realm of obscenity!

Up until here everything seems normal; we all do judge other people whenever we can, and most often we are, in return, judged back. When a father comments on his son’s ludicrous hair style or comments on how voluptuous his daughter looks when she tries to dress like Lady Gaga then the children will go to school and start nagging about how vieux jeu and redneck their father is.

When the same husband comes home early so he could take the family to visit the grandparents and then comments on how those leather pants make his wife look fat (Discretion is advised: To all men in relationship, for your own safety do not try this at home!), and then the wife niggles that if he were to buy the other pairs of pants that were more expensive and would not be so stingy she also would not have to tolerate the sweat all over her. The family then goes to the grannies just to be lectured for half an hour about how the younger generations are making this world appear like a gigantic public lavatory, and at the end as they are watching the news they all become part of one team and begin to adjudicate the entire government for not providing them 98% tax break!!!

Stories of judging others are quite easy to spot, as a matter of fact, all it takes for you to witness this incredible phenomena first hand is to call your friend and start talking about your day at college, better yet, turn on the TV and watch the latest political commentary. The samples are ample. 

However, as I mentioned at the beginning of the post, something occurred to me the other day that really made me lost for words. As I started to look at the few photos that I had on my computer, I as if by chance, decided not to give any of those photos a label, I decided not to judge the people in those pictures and look at them just as they were. Somehow, the fat guy did not seem fat anymore, he merely looked more like, more like himself, the nose did not seem like it had blocked the way for the rest of my face to be seen any more, and the lady seemed more beautiful and attractive and every part of her face seemed more like…Katy Parry? No!, Hillary Duff? No!, LADY GAGA?!! Oh this young lady is a marketing master mind, but the answer is still No,… it seemed more like HER.

As you can see, by merely trying to stop judging the people in those photos and accepting their bellies, and noses, and teeth, and most importantly their very self as who they were not as who they looked like. In the magnificent book On Truth And Untruth edited and translated by Taylor Carman, Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher describes judgment as follows:

“Judgment- the belief that this and that is so. Thus, judgment contains the avowal that an “identical case” has been encountered. It thus presupposes comparison, with the aid of recollection.”   

You see! The point is that we are all unique, there has never been someone quite like you before, and there never will. The same applies to all other people around us. Judgment is made unconsciously based on a false assumption that “an identical case has been encountered”, but the point is, we never encounter the same situation twice in life, yet so easily most of us end up being the judge for other people’s lives. 

Mother Theresa said so beautifully that "if you judge people, you have no time to love them".  

On TV, the internet, and true leadership!

The other day in my class, I gave a lecture regarding the various benefits that could be attained by reducing the amount of time spent on watching TV. I have recently come to believe that subtle dependence upon television can promote passivity and lack of creativity, and due to its convenience can easily end up not only consuming a great portion of our time, but also contributing to less mental and physical activities.

It has been four years that I have not watched TV! What?!! How is that even remotely possible?!!! Now you might instantly begin to imagine an eccentric geek with no knowledge of what is happening around the world, but quite frankly, I feel more mindful of the occurrences across the globe than ever. How? Pretty simple, for me the internet has become the sole source of gathering all the information that I need, do you need to watch NBC’s Meet the Press? Just log on to MSNBC’s website and watch the latest episode, better yet download the audio podcast and listen to it while driving to work; you want to watch the trailer of the latest box office hit? Just head over to Youtube and watch it in HD, feeling trendy? How about checking out the latest fashions on various designated websites?          

I even went as far as providing an oath for the class:

“Hi, my name is Daniel” I said as I raised my right hand “and I hereby declare that, thanks to the internet, I have been TV-free for four years”. Suddenly one of my students cracked a joke by saying that “the guy is clean”. 

I then quoted Steve Jobs saying that “You watch television to turn your brain off, and work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on”.

Following a hot debate, I mentioned that when my own children are born "I will give them an iPad, iPhone, and an Apple computer, but would not purchase a TV for my house".  Even though my beliefs regarding TV make complete sense to me, I was quite insensible to think that everyone should be in agreement with me.  I was then told by my students that true open-mindedness allows one to let their children choose for themselves. In reality, if my children would prefer to spend their entire days in front of TV then that is their choice, but sooner or later, it is likely that such lifestyle leads to difficulties and that is when they will come to me looking for suggestion.

When the students are ready the teacher will show up. Hence, if they are to follow my footsteps they should first want it internally. What I consider to be good and intellectual often could seem no more than a gibberish coming from an up-tight wacko. Well I certainly wish not to be dubbed as a Wacko of course! 

LEAD BY EXAMPLE, NOT FORCE

Talk Show 2.0 is back, more 2.0 than ever!

After a long break that seemed like ages, and following the cancellation of my trip to Turkey, the weblog Talk Show 2.0 resumes its activity for all the Talk Show attendants and the World Wide Web visitors. 

During the months that passed, the world has undergone drastic changes, akin to the type of which we usually expect to take place within a year or two. The major changes in the Arab world have resulted in insurmountable attention being given to the reformations that will ultimately determine the future of diplomacy all across the globe. 

Another major event was the now false-prediction of the end of the world on May 21st, well …I do not know what to say really, but the world did not come to an end as was predicted by so many mumbo jumbo prophecies that were out there just to prove that instead of being concerned with when the world is going to come to an end, we ought to simply get a life that is focused on the present. 

Despite all that happened, I for one, as an optimist, consider the world a better place for everyone simply because what we have less of these days are autocracies, censorship, driving without paying attention to the gas consumption, fatally ill children, and dogmatism; on the other hand, what we have more nowadays include but is not limited to education, public awareness, advanced technologies, more means for changing our way of thinking for the better, and of course iPads. 

For those of you who have taken the recent apocalyptic movies, and media buzz seriously, I have to mention that if one truly lives a complete life, every single day, he or she would act as though today could be the last day, then there is no such thing as worry for an apocalypse that will probably never come. 

WE ARE BACK, HAPPIER AND YELLOWER THAN EVER!
It is time to get our lives back on track, so as Nike puts it: Let us all “JUST DO IT”

Next time you were in your bed at night with your thoughts wandering about the concept of  doomsday, apocalypse, and the fact that tomorrow the world could come to an end please consider the following: 

As you are lying in your bed at night, it is already morning in Australia!

The real Apocalypse is going through your daily lives without noticing the limitless treasures that are scattered around you, the real apocalypse is having no one to love, the real apocalypse is having no concrete purpose, the real apocalypse is living in the past or the future, the real apocalypse is the desire to take rather than give, the real apocalypse is the belief that we need someone-else to come to our rescue instead of trying to change ourselves, and most of all, the real apocalypse is transferring our apocalyptic thoughts to others.



There simply cannot, and will not, be an Apocalypse out there, unless there is an apocalypse inside of you, so instead of worrying about the future try to fix the present.     


The best way to rectify the present is becoming happier and raising the aptly named Happy Planet Index that Nic talked about in his magnificent speech at TED. The recipe for a strong Apocalypse-antidote is well-mentioned in THE FORESIGHT PROGRAM:

1-CONNECT  [to other people]
2-BE PHYSICALLY ACTIVE  [we are meant to be in motion]
3-TAKE NOTICE OF THE LITTLE THINGS  [do not take things for granted]
4-KEEP LEARNING  [the secret to becoming healthy, wealthy, and wise]
5-GIVE  [the biggest joy in the world]

So everyone: Just Do IT.