The eyes of insanity

I wake up in the middle of the night as my effort to sleep fails. I look outside the window without even noticing the surrounding as if the world which I knew for so long does not exist anymore. I contemplate about life as I rapidly recap my actions throughout the years.

      Who are you? What are you doing here? Are you really sure about the things you were told? Do not you suspect that things could be different than what you think? Half of me is agonized by the insecurity that is emanated by my current stream of thoughts while the other half remains hopeful to reach for the truth.

      There is nothing more ironic than to realize you have spent your whole life thinking you have figured it all out just to be proven the exact opposite by no one other than your own self.  

      There it comes that striking instant when every single being, animate or inanimate, demands a new description and the border between reality and unreality seems nonexistent.

      To make the matter worse is the constant call for socialization from your acquaintances who deem you socially sick, and would consider acculturation the sole remedy for the aforementioned malady. As if the body needs to function in a specific way and fight off a particular disease in order to become sane.  

      I have been trying to distinguish the difference between sanity, and insanity for a long time now. Is it hormonal imbalance? What about physical and mental state induced by unconventional conditions? Maybe it is in your blood?

      Hmm … what if being insane solely means being different? What if you are dubbed insane the moment you start to create the world in your own way? What if being insane means to go on the unpaved road with no signs? What if being insane means to expect the impossible? What if being insane means to make your own rules as opposed to follow the status quo blindly? What if being insane means to be the master of your own destiny than to be a slave of tradition and commonality? What if being insane means to be original instead of derivative? What if being insane means to forgive your enemies even though the scar of their hatred, envy, and hostility never truly disappears from your flesh and soul? What if being insane means to care about others as much as you can instead of being drowned in self-indulgence? What if being insane means to trust your heart and not your mind? What if being insane means chosing feeling over logic? 
 
What if …….?!

What if being insane is far superior than being sane?!

      The harder I try to resist these rambling sentiments the more I approach the conclusion that the people around you would not stop assessing you , and the only manner in which you could earn their approval is by being so-called sane.
 

Ah,..Seriously..What the heck does that mean?

       I really do not know the meaning of sanity, and am also unable to define insanity …..but I know one thing.The most significant concept in the world, true love, is in direct contradiction with survival of the fittest.

      I have already tried to see the world through the fancy lens of sanity and all I saw was war, hatred, abuse, discrimination, pain, envy and uncertainty. 

Tonight I remove that lens of saneness and try to see the world with naked eyes.

Tonight I see the world as it is,without any filters.

Tonight I see only the questions, and not a single answer.

Tonight I see the beauty of the world through the eyes of insanity.