Life Without Judging Others

Something quite unprecedented occurred to me the other day. I found a few minutes of free time on my watch and decided to browse through the old photos of my friends and acquaintances.

Usually when looking at the photos, I, unconsciously, label them with words that are rendered in my mind, “yeah good times, he looks much fatter here though”, “She looks pretty attractive, but it is a shame her teeth do not have a nice stature, and also I do not like to look at a flat screen TV no matter how beautiful the show is ;if you know what I mean!!!”, “Wow, that nose appears so large when taken from the side?”. I could go on and provide more and more examples of what scatterbrained descriptions could hit my mind like a bolt, many of which I would refrain from mentioning for the sake avoiding to enter the realm of obscenity!

Up until here everything seems normal; we all do judge other people whenever we can, and most often we are, in return, judged back. When a father comments on his son’s ludicrous hair style or comments on how voluptuous his daughter looks when she tries to dress like Lady Gaga then the children will go to school and start nagging about how vieux jeu and redneck their father is.

When the same husband comes home early so he could take the family to visit the grandparents and then comments on how those leather pants make his wife look fat (Discretion is advised: To all men in relationship, for your own safety do not try this at home!), and then the wife niggles that if he were to buy the other pairs of pants that were more expensive and would not be so stingy she also would not have to tolerate the sweat all over her. The family then goes to the grannies just to be lectured for half an hour about how the younger generations are making this world appear like a gigantic public lavatory, and at the end as they are watching the news they all become part of one team and begin to adjudicate the entire government for not providing them 98% tax break!!!

Stories of judging others are quite easy to spot, as a matter of fact, all it takes for you to witness this incredible phenomena first hand is to call your friend and start talking about your day at college, better yet, turn on the TV and watch the latest political commentary. The samples are ample. 

However, as I mentioned at the beginning of the post, something occurred to me the other day that really made me lost for words. As I started to look at the few photos that I had on my computer, I as if by chance, decided not to give any of those photos a label, I decided not to judge the people in those pictures and look at them just as they were. Somehow, the fat guy did not seem fat anymore, he merely looked more like, more like himself, the nose did not seem like it had blocked the way for the rest of my face to be seen any more, and the lady seemed more beautiful and attractive and every part of her face seemed more like…Katy Parry? No!, Hillary Duff? No!, LADY GAGA?!! Oh this young lady is a marketing master mind, but the answer is still No,… it seemed more like HER.

As you can see, by merely trying to stop judging the people in those photos and accepting their bellies, and noses, and teeth, and most importantly their very self as who they were not as who they looked like. In the magnificent book On Truth And Untruth edited and translated by Taylor Carman, Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher describes judgment as follows:

“Judgment- the belief that this and that is so. Thus, judgment contains the avowal that an “identical case” has been encountered. It thus presupposes comparison, with the aid of recollection.”   

You see! The point is that we are all unique, there has never been someone quite like you before, and there never will. The same applies to all other people around us. Judgment is made unconsciously based on a false assumption that “an identical case has been encountered”, but the point is, we never encounter the same situation twice in life, yet so easily most of us end up being the judge for other people’s lives. 

Mother Theresa said so beautifully that "if you judge people, you have no time to love them".